Dictionary of Rallying Terms

We cannot claim all the credit, but for the uninitiated we provide an explanation of some of the more common rallying terms.

A

AA abbrev. Automobile Association - a bunch of Very Nice Men, as long as they don't know you're on a rally.

alloy n. material used to triple the price of car parts.

AR abbrev. All Roads - code meaning “difficult clue”.

autotest n. an organised event designed to test use of the handbrake.

average speed n. method of disguising excessively high speeds using a mathematical formula. Average Speed is defined as distance covered divided by time, all multiplied by the variable, k. When talking to the MSA, local residents and the police, k is assumed to equal 1. However, during the course of a Road Rally, k has been known to increase alarmingly.

B

bent n. technical description of a car, often used to describe one which has been involved in a Moment.

black ice n. See Moment, Stack

blackspot n. area where local inhabitants have irrational objections to road rallies.

Blue Book n. easy-to-read guide to rallying, published by the MSA. Loved by scrutineers, usually ignored by drivers, resulting in frantic modifications to the car at scrutineering.

bridge n. road-reading instruction warning of potential yump or ninety. See Moment.

C

cattle grid n. See Moment

caution n. a particularly fine yump the rally organisers have taken pains to point out.

CFU abbrev.  Completely F***ing Useless. 1. Term used to describe a component which has been adjusted with a club hammer. 2. Term used by navigators to describe their drivers.

closing car n. sweeps up afterwards.

club hammer n. precision adjusting tool.

clue n. navigational rally route instruction, as in “I haven't got a clue what this means”.

code board n. small temporary road sign hidden in a hedge immediately before a ninety.

compass n. sign of a desperate navigator.

competitive section n. high speed section of an event requiring significant Competitive Skill to enable drivers to meet the required Average Speed.

competitive skill n. dangerous driving.

cone n. small piece of squashed orange plastic sometimes seen on tests, usually too late. See Handbrake.

CRO abbrev. Coloured Roads Only - code meaning “nice clue”.

D

ditch v.t. to parallel park a car unexpectedly during a rally.

driver n. incompetent person holding steering wheel.

doughnut n. novel means of ploughing grass with a rear wheel drive car.

DSO abbrev. Driving Standards Observer. Usually appears during mid-GLF. Drive at 20mph and smile nicely.

E

excuse n. means to explain poor result in rally, or ditching or similar manoeuvre.

Expert n. a class in navigational rallies for people who know what they're doing, if only they could understand the clues.

F

fade v.i. what brakes do when they overheat. See Moment.

farmer n. 1. Nice man with tractor pulling your car out of the ditch 2. Angry owner of the fence you just trashed.

farmyard n. cobbled area not on the rally route, often strewn with mud and cow dung. See Moment.

ford n. mid-rally car wash.

fork n. Y-shaped junction, as in the instruction “Fork Right Off”.

four wheel drift n. simultaneous understeer and oversteer.

f***ed adj. technical description, normally used to describe the exact status of mechanical components that have become non-functional.

G

game pie n. dish made from a variety of wild animals, often enjoyed by the crew of the closing car.

GLF abbrev. Go Like F***. Instruction to driver after navigator makes an allegedly deliberate mistake to wake up driver.

goldfish n. driver’s memory span.

H

hairpin n. corner much tighter than a ninety.

Halda n. reassuringly expensive trip meter, rendered completely useless (see CFU) when the speedo cable breaks.

handbrake n. direction changing lever found between the front seats.

hang on n. instruction to navigator

harness n. go-faster seat belt.

hedge n. follows hairpin, handbrake, hang-on.

herringbone n. form of rally clue which works on the organisers' kitchen table but not in your car.

horse n. See game pie. Usually left behind by large, white saloons.

I

icing n. what happens to carburettors in cold weather. See Excuse.

if only n. “If onlies” are the subject of crews’ discussions in the bar after a rally, as in “If only we’d understood what we were doing, we’d have won the rally.”

insurance n. overpriced piece of paper.

ITC abbrev. Intermediate Time Control. Usually passed at speed, followed a couple of miles down the road by the driver asking: “Was that a marshal back there?”

J

jugs n. Weber DCOE or similarly-thirsty carburettors. See Splash & Dash.

L

lay-by n. place to hide a code board or ITC.

left n. often confused with right. See Navigator.

loop n. bigger place to hide a code board or ITC.

lose it v.t.  Follows Moment.

M

marshal n. cold masochist.

masochist n. someone lacking a sense of self preservation. See marshal, navigator.

minute n. over-optimistic time by which you try to reach the next time control.

moment n. an incident during which the driver has even less control of the car than usual. In the driver’s reference frame, it lasts a mere moment before the car is safely back under control. In the navigator’s reference frame, it can last for as long as it takes for their entire life to flash before them. The term can be used to describe an incident which ranges from hitting a pothole to vaporising 95% of the vehicle in a high-speed accident.

MTC abbrev. Main Time Control. Crews don’t tend to miss these (see ITC) because food is usually available here.

N

National B Licence n. hooligan's certificate.

navigator n. incompetent person clutching a map board.

NFC abbrev. No F***ing Clue. See Navigator.

ninety n. a corner the shape of a right-angle. See Moment.

NAM abbrev.  Not As Map. A type of corner the OS cartographer has chosen to depict with particular artistic licence. See Moment.

Novice n. class of rally competitor provided with easy clues to give the Experts someone to follow.

NRFU abbrev. Non-Recoverable F*** Up. Game Over. See If Only.

O

off n. unplanned departure from the road. See ditch.

oncoming n. traffic flow of inconsiderate local residents and Nissan Micras driving the opposite way to rally route.

OTL abbrev. Too F***ing Late.

oversteer n. a state in which the car tries to ditch itself on the inside of a corner.

P

panic n. standard navigational technique.

potti n. navigator's essential equipment for fast sections, usually during a Panic.

PR problem n. anal-retentive resident of a remote village.

Q

quiet zone n. place where you drive calmly if a driving standards observer is present.

R

rally route n. a series of roads marked with dead rabbits.

red line n. point on the tachometer below which the needle should not be allowed to drop.

red mist n. a means to make the car go faster. See ditch.

regularity section n. high speed section of an event requiring significant Competitive Skill to enable drivers to meet the required Average Speed.

right n. often confused with left. See Navigator.

road rally n. a quasi-legal road race which justifies its existence with judicious use of Average Speed.

road reading n. prediciting the road ahead from assorted squiggles on the map, something the navigator often stops doing at inconvenient times. See Moment.

rocket fuel n. Shell V-Power with added Millers Octane Plus. Drivers usually drink it in pints.

ro(a)mer n. a bit of plastic kicking around the floor of the car.

S

single track n. a type of road not wide enough for a car and a tractor to pass side by side. See Moment, Oncoming.

skid marks n. can be used to judge the quality of a Moment.

slash & dash n. Co-ordinated sequence of events by driver and navigator to relieve themselves mid-regularity.

SNAFU abbrev.  Situation Normal, Another F*** Up. Navigator keeps getting it wrong.

special stage n. similar to a Competitive Section, although demanding even higher levels of Competitive Skill.

splash & dash n. Co-ordinated sequence of events by driver and navigator to put £20 of fuel in the car mid-regularity.

ST abbrev. Sanctimonious Tosser. Term of affection.

stack v.t. to perpendicularly park unexpectedly during a rally.

stop astride n. device used on tests to slow drivers down, usually signalled by skid marks starting 100 yards earlier.

straight-forward navigation n. a format that places greater emphasis on the driver's Competitive Skill.

straight line v.t. to take the “racing line” through a roundabout.

sulk v.i. See navigator

sump guard n. thin sheet of aluminium fitted by drivers to their cars in the mistaken belief that it will stop the engine getting f****d during Competitive Sections along Whites.

T

tantrum n. See driver

test n. part of a rally involving accelerated tyre wear and lots of shouting.

transport section n. high speed section of an event requiring significant Competitive Skill to get to the MTC at the required time.

twelve car n. an event based on the premise that if there are only twelve cars competing, it will be over before the police have time to respond to residents' complaints.

U

U-ey n. a tactical manouevre used in situations of navigational uncertainty.

understeer n. a state in which the car tries to ditch itself on the outside of a corner.

V

video camera n. jinx

W

white n. unsurfaced track, bridleway, public footpath, sheep track or contour line which the navigation defines as a road. The name originates from the usual colour of the navigator's face following Competitive Sections on Whites.

Y

yump 1. n. a crest on a road specially designed to separate the car's wheels from the ground 2. v.t. to drive a car spiritedly across a yump.

Z

Z-bends n. pl. a series of consecutive moments.